In which I was sad but decided to be awesome instead

[kylezy]

I was halfway through a whingey entry, waxing emotive about being sick (again, thanks for failing at your job, immune system), and loneliness, and how much I miss fandom and the way it was when I first joined - when there was a sense of community and people wanted to discuss things and make new friends, instead of hanging out anonymously and bitching and whining unnecessarily; and then I was like, NO, KYLIE. Not tonight. Tonight we dine in lulz.

So I give you the thing that never fails to make me cry with laughter - HP Summary Executions: Greatest Hits. Basically, the best (read: worst) summaries people have come up with for their Harry Potter fanfiction.

To entice you:

A story of pain and sorrow, not intented for comfort or laughter...a story that remains untold, on of abuse and blood...telling of a shattered girl who learned to twist a heart of stone into one of warm gold. This is not a story for the faint of heart, nor the happy in spirit. But for those who are able to understand what it means to be hurt...to watch as a girl's spirit is shattered like glass upon concrete. Watch as she melts the young master's heart of ice, and watch as she helps him heal. She has no name, but his...is Señor Draco.

Señor Draco.

Señor Draco.

Señor Draco.

Other slices of brilliance to look forward to (just the keywords, I don't want to spoil you too much, after all): Dumbledore fucks no Americans!, back virginity, wereflamingoes, and MIND BOOGLEING SUPENUSE!!!

Enjoy, guys!

PS. wholly_crepe, your WIP has comforted me immeasurably these last few days. Jsyk. ♥

Comments

[lolafeist.livejournal.com]

Tonight we dine in lulz.

*GRIN*

[mywholecry.livejournal.com]

Adventurous fic, full of my own unique humor and situations that even Rowling would be proud to have created.

I'm going to start preceding every fic I write like this; I really think it will win me some friends.

[ninja-orange.livejournal.com]

LONG STORY ALERT:

my school has a student club which runs an event one weekend in the fall where students can teach classes in anything they want (really anything, as long as it won't get us sued) and middle- and high-school kids come from all over to take the classes. A couple years ago, I taught "A Field Guide to Fanfiction" with a couple friends, just for a laugh. We spent most of the class on signs of really bad fanfiction and how to avoid the obvious pitfalls but the BEST part of the class was finding a fanfiction excerpt to use as our class description in the catalogue. We spent HOURS reading really horrible Harry Potter fanfic and laughing outrageously, and we almost used a smutty bit of Harry/Ron fic until we realized when we ***'d out any 'naughty' words it looked even worse, and if we ***'d out a few totally innocent words it looked REALLY indecent which, while hilarious, wouldn't fly with the admins. In the end we found some horrible Ginny/Harry fic where someone got pregnant and spoke in text-speak.

TL;DR: THESE ARE HILARIOUS, THANKS FOR THE LINK

[plumora.livejournal.com]

Don't be sad; Señor Draco will make you feel better!

I'm definitely bookmarking that link for when I need lulz. XD

[lemniciate.livejournal.com]

I spend so much of my IM time with people talking about missing fandom, so if you ever want to let it all out...!

SHE HAS NO NAME, BUT HIS IS SENOR DRACO

this is horrifying...but I'm kind of drawn to it, ngl

[peachchild336.livejournal.com]

... Senor Draco. I can't even. OMG.

[leviathans-moon.livejournal.com]

awesome collection. my friends and I had a very enjoyable afternoon laughing our arses off over these summaries. thank you so much*g*

[ofsighs.livejournal.com]

Being awesome is a great choice, my dear.

Checking out the summary executions post, and it is full of LOL.
- A girl so mysterious, even Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter themselves got hooked up.
- Adventurous fic, full of my own unique humor and situations that even Rowling would be proud to have created.
Hahahahaha. Takes me back to the early days when I still trudged through ff.net for stories. BadGood times.

Hope you feel better soon! Sending some eyesex your way to aid in the recovery:
(http://s934.photobucket.com/albums/ad185/surrendipitous/LJ%20pictures/merlin/?action=view&current=s1pbmejpgwho-love.gif)

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

XD

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

I think people will be drawn to your modestly unassuming honesty, I really do.

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, what a great idea, that class would have been brilliant!

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

*siiigh* Señor Draco makes everything better, it's true.

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

The dramatic pause before Señor Draco is what makes in so winner XD But I kind of want to read it, I will admit!

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

You know you want to tame his wild heart, don't deny it XD

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked them XD Nothing makes me laugh like these do!

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

Oh, the days of fanfiction.net, before anybody knew any better XD

Thank you for the eyesex *dreamy sigh*

[wholly-crepe.livejournal.com]

I'M GLAD! :D <3

That fic is literally going to be the death of me, I swear to god. It feelis a little bit like I have to hack through granite to access itty bitty bits of chrystalised B/C. SIGH. I will try for you though!

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

I don't mean to nag and I understand how hard it is because if it were easy, you would have done it already, you know? I just want...I want people to feel the things I feel when reading this, to be moved in the way I am, and I want the happy ending for Colin or at least the new beginning, and I want you to feel the pleasure and relief in finishing it and being proud of this wonderful story you created. Which all falls under the heading of Too Invested and I promise, I swear, this is the last time I'll bring it up. If you can't finish it, then you can't, and that's the way it goes. I still think you're amazing.

[openmoments.livejournal.com]

Señor Draco.

Señor Draco.

Señor Draco.

THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY WORTH GETTING UP FOR!!!! You know, I thought he looked more German than Mexican to me. I DON'T KNOW, IT MIGHT BE THE BLONDE HAIR OR SOMETHING. But, I suppose, you don't want to make it cliched and everything.

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, and no worries, that is what I'm here for!

[wholly-crepe.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD. I just finished. I honest to god, in the last hour since reading this comment of yours, finished it. It is done. This was the kick I needed.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, and this is for you,

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

WHAT. OH MY GOD. GIRL!

[vinca15.livejournal.com]

aww, don't be sad. ;_; your sadness makes me sad and making Angela sad is like..shitting on a rainbow. (lol)

OMG DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S MAKING ME HAPPY? PERHAPS THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY TOO? MARCH 22ND = NEXT STROKES ALBUM. CAN U BELIEVE THAT SHIT?? OH MY GOD DUDE. OH MY GOD. ARE YOU EXCITED NOW? TELL ME YOU'RE EXCITED. OR DON'T BE. I'M EXCITED ENOUGH FOR 10 PEOPLE. I WILL CARRY YOUR EXCITEMENT, OK? I WILL DO THIS FOR YOU. YAAAAAAAY.

L M F A O @ those summaries. I spent like, two hours looking at that business. thank you for sharing, friend.

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

YESSSSS! I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY WHEN I OPEN MY EMAILS IN THE MORNING AND THEY'RE ALL NOTIFICATIONS FOR COMMENTS BY YOU. HOW ARE YOU, MY LOVE?

WOO STROKES, I AM EXCITED THAT YOU'RE EXCITED!

Hee, they're great, right? They always make me laugh.

[vinca15.livejournal.com]

There's no more 2% milk, there's only the fat free kind so I'm pretty depressed about that. :(( ALSO THERE IS A NEW GRRRLS VIDEO (WITH ZAC DANCING APPARENTLY OMG WAS I NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS??? THE UNIVERSE IS LISTENING) BUT I HAVE NO INTERNET AND IT WON'T PLAY ON MOBILE WEB SO I WANT TO CRY AND PUNCH A LIVER. But besides that I'm super great. Super great with streamers.