In which I want one night with no gang rape

[kylezy]

I was going to do a top five list of improbable things I want for Christmas and then I realised that they're all dirty. I need a perverts-only LJ filter, y/y? XD

Real point of this entry: a very early FRIVOLOUS PLOTS FRIDAY!

I don't know if this is an actual THING, but lemniciate said I should do it again and, by darn, she gets what she wants!

For those who don't remember, the premise is simple: post those silly, corny, pointless fic ideas you know you'll never write or prompt.

Last time on FPF

This week we venture into the world of crack. I've had this ridiculous idea for months, I think Julia, rayslady, and I even talked about it on AIM once, where, one night, Colin's angsting away in Katie's room after a lover's tiff with Bradley earlier that day (IDK about what, let's just say it's their day off and Bradley wanted to go out for the day and Colin wanted to stay home), only he thinks it's a proper fight, like he and Bradley are almost broken up. And he's like, "Katie, I think it's over, we've never fought like this before, he hates me, I know he does" and Katie is all "what makes you say that?" And Colin gives these ridiculous reasons, like, "he brought dinner home tonight. AND HE DIDN'T PICK THE CHEESE SQUARES OUT OF MY SALAD FOR ME :((((" and "when he had tea this morning HE DIDN'T EVEN REFILL THE KETTLE :((((" and Katie is justifiably like "1) OMG STFU, you had a MILD DISAGREEMENT and 2) you two have some FUCKED UP co-dependency issues. Now kindly GTFO of my room and make up with him before I put my foot up your arse".

Meanwhile, across the hall in Angel's room, Bradley's like "Angel, I think it's over, we've never fought like this before, he hates me, I know he does" and also, "can I have some of that pie, I'm hungry" because he gets hungry when his LIFE IS OVER, OKAY, ANGEL? And Angel is all "what makes you say that?" and also "no, no pie for you, you will GET FAT if you keep eating your feelings". And Bradley gives reasons just as ridiculous as Colin's, like, "I said I was going out this morning and he didn't even offer to IRON MY SHIRT like usual :((((" and "when I went to brush my teeth, HE HADN'T LEFT ME A TOOTHPASTE SMILEY FACE on the mirror :((((" and Angel is justifiably like "1) OMG STFU, that is not even a fight and 2) you two are so cutesy I want stab a pencil through my eye. Now kindly vacate the room and make up with him before I knee you in the nuts".

So Bradley leaves at the exact same time Colin leaves and they kind of stand there in the hall for an awkward moment before heading back to their room silently. And then this exchange happens:

C: You don't have to share the bed with me, I'll take the couch tonight.
B: It's technically your room, so the bed is yours.
C: No, I'll take the couch, I know your shoulder gets sore.
B: No, it's okay, I was going for a run in the morning, I don't want to wake you, have the bed.
C: Well I wasn't going to bed yet and the TV will only disburb you, so you'd be better off in the bedroom actually.
B: [angrily] YOU GET HEADACHES FROM INCORRECT NECK PLACEMENT WHEN YOU SLEEP ON THE COUCH, SO THAT'S THAT, I'M HAVING THE COUCH.
C: [angrily] AND YOU'VE HAD THE FLU RECENTLY, YOU NEED TO BE RUGGED UP PROPER WARM IN BED, SO I'M HAVING THE COUCH.
[a seconds worth of heavy, angry breathing before they suddenly fall into each other's arms, smothering kisses everywhere.]
B: Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Col, I'm so sorry. I love you, I love you. I'm so sorry I made you pick the cheese out of your salad yourself!
C: No, I'M sorry, Bradley. God, I love you so much, please, please forgive me for not drawing you a smiley face in toothpaste!
B: I thought I'd lost you forever.
C: You'll never lose me, Bradley. Never ever.
[FADE TO DISGUSTINGLY SAPPY SEXY TIMES]

IDEK WHERE THESE THOUGHTS COME FROM, GUYS. THEY JUST APPEAR.

Comments

[kylezy.livejournal.com]

*whiiiiiine* But, it's practically half done already, looook. And any more and you might actually get a sweet tooth from too much over-the-top sweetness. Trufax.

[eloquent-toast.livejournal.com]

I DONT CARE WRITE IT NOW THESE ARE MY ORDERS OBEY ME NOW BITCH.

Or not :D EITHER WAY I STILL HAVE A MASSIVE BONER FOR YOU