kylezy

LOLLING AT EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS ARTHUR AS A BABY OR A BABY THAT ARTHUR HAD TO LOOK AFTER, WHEN PRODUCTION PICS WERE LEAKED.

OH GOD, THIS GUY AGAIN.

THAT WAS AN...ERM...ODD OPENING.

SHE'S A FARTER. THAT'S OKAY, MERLIN SAYS EVERYBODY DOES IT.

AND LO, CRIES WENT UP AROUND THE WORLD. PROFESSOR SPROUT, THEY SHOUTED IN UNISON, IT'S PROFESSOR SPROUT.

AWW, LET THE GIRL WALK, SHE JUST WANTS TO WAAAALK.

ARTHUR AND HIS BOYFRIEND WALKING DOWN THE AISLE.

LOL STRATEGIC, OH UTHER. YOU KNOW HOW QUAGMIRE HAS A THEME SONG IN FAMILY GUY? UTHER NEEDS ONE LIKE THAT, I FEEL. UTHER, UTHER, WHO ELSE BUT UTHER (THE GENOCIDAL MANIAAAAC) *JAZZ HANDS*

"HE FINDS ME...STRATEGIC. AND BEAUTIFUL?" YES. THIS EXACTLY, ARTHUR, SPOT ON.

OH, THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME CLASSIC BRADLEY JAMES: CRAZY FACE IN THIS EP, I CAN TELL ALREADY.

GWEN IS LOOKING HOT, YOWZ.

AHAHA, NOW COME ON, THIS IS THE SLOWER BUILDUP OF A/G WE SHOULD HAVE HAD LAST SEASON.

NO SHIRTLESSNESS, BUT IF YOU PAUSE AT 4.53, YOU CAN TOTES SEE DOWN ARTHUR'S TOP. I'M COUNTING THAT AS A WIN FOR FANGIRLS EVERYWHERE.

LOL, YOU KNOW WHEN UTHER SEES THE PILLOW HE'S GLAD HE CAUGHT THEM BEFORE THEY GOT NAKED. YOU KNOW.

BIT CHILLY IN THE CASTLE IS IT BRADLEY?

OH NOES, ELENA HAS CAUGHT MORGANA'S SERIES ONE DISEASE.

OR SHE'S ABOUT TO COME. IDK.

WHATCHA GOT THERE, PROFESSOR? IT'S NOT MANDRAKE ROOT, THE EVIL WITCHES STOLE ALL OF THEM A FEW EPS BACK.

HOLY SHIT, SO THAT'S WHERE ALL THE MAGICAL GAY DUST WENT, DAMN YOU, SPROUT, DAAAAMN YOOOOOU.

SEE? SHE TURNED INTO A FAIRY. OKAY, BAD JOKE, I KNOW.

SHUFFLE ALONG, YOU OLD DUCK, SHUFFLE ALONG.

BE CAREFUL SPROUT, LAST TIME SOMEONE TALKED TO THESE FAIRIES, MERLIN EXPLODED THEM WITH HIS STAFF. THAT IS NOT A EUPHEMISM.

GOOD TO SEE THE SHOW CARES ABOUT THE PLANET BECAUSE THEY'RE DEFINITELY INTO RECYCLING. HELLO SLOW MOTION.

YES, FAIRIES LIKE TO DIP THEIR TOES IN WATER, I LEARNT THAT LAST TIME, THANKS ALL THE SAME.

SHE LOOKS LIKE A CHRISTMAS HAM WITH CLOVES IN IT.

LET'S SING THE EXPOSITION SONG! HELL-O, VILLAINS-OF-THE-WEEK. PLEASE TELL THE AUDIENCE (and hold for one, two) YOUR PLANS *MOAR JAZZ HANDS*

SHE PWNS HIM ON THE HORSE, YOU'VE GOT TO LIKE THAT.

YAY, DEAD MOTHERS CLUB!

MERLIN CAME ON THEIR DATE. I MEAN, LET'S JUST BASK IN THAT FOR A SECOND. MERLIN. CAME ON THEIR DATE. HE WAS INVITED. BY ARTHUR. TO ACCOMPANY THEM.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE EAGER FOR SOME...TIME ALONE." NGL, COLIN'S WHISPER ACTUALLY JUST GOT ME PREGNANT.

LOL WHAT WAS THAT HUG?

"OH DEAR." I KNOW, BOYS, I KNOW. A WOMAN WHO SNEEZES AND FALLS DOWN? GOD, HOW BENEATH YOU.

AHAHAHAHA GET IN THERE GAIUS.

LOL, MERLIN'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN ELENA BURPS.

COME ON GAIUS, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO TAP THAT.

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ANYWAY? PERFECT PRINCESS. SOUNDS PERFECTLY BORING." I RATHER AGREE.

LOLLOLOLOLOLOL DID PROFESSOR SPROUT JUST AIR HUMP?

OKAY. OKAY. I WAS ON YOUR SIDE UNTIL YOU ATE THE FROG. THAT'S JUST WEIRD.

YOU'RE NOT WEARING AN INSTA-INVISIBILITY CLOAK, SPROUT, OF COURSE MERLIN'S GOING TO SEE YOU.

"AND LONG, LIKE...THIS LONG." LOLOLOLOL A+ INNUENDO, SHOW. A FUCKING PLUS.

AND HE'S HOLDING IT NEAR HIS OPEN MOUTH ALKSLKHDF;KD;DFA

"I HAVE A FEELING WE SHOULD PROBABLY FIND OUT." REALLY GAIUS? REALLY? YOU THINK THAT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA? IDK, SOUNDS RISKY AND UNLIKE EVERY OTHER DAMN WEEK IN THIS CASTLE.

MERLIN'S WORKING THE CORNER AS USUAL, OH WAIT, NO, IT'S GAIUS! YAY CHANGE!

IF HE HAS TO HIDE IN A CLOSET LIKE MERLIN DOES EVERY TIME HE BREAKS INTO A ROOM, I WILL LAUGH.

GAIUS! YOU'RE GETTING GAY ALL OVER THE FLOOR!

"WHY DON'T WE MAKE SWEET PERFUME TOGETHER." THAT. IS THE GROSSEST THING. I'VE. EVER. HEARD.

"IMAGINE IF SHE KISSED YOU." OH. MY. GOD. I HAVE TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE FROM HOW PERFECT THAT LINE WAS.

"YOU CAN AND YOU WILL." UUUUTHER. UUUUTHER. WHO ELSE BUT UTHER? *PING*

"I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SIDHE MAGIC." YOU'D THINK HE WOULD HAVE TRIED TO LEARN AFTER LAST TIME.

IS THAT RECYCLED FOOTAGE OF THEM WALKING? OH SHOW.

OH MORGANA. GWEN AND ARTHUR HAVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU :(

I WANT TO LICK YOUR NECK THOUGH.

THAT WAS A NICE BIT BETWEEN GWEN AND ARTHUR. AND, REALLY, YOU CAN TOTALLY BELIEVE THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MERLIN IF YOU ONLY HALF PAY ATTENTION, JUST SAYING.

SIDHE GO ESPLODEY, WE ALL SAW THAT COMING.

TIME TO PIMP GAIUS OUT, YAY!

OOOH, MERLIN'S MAGIC WAS POWERFUL ENOUGH THAT SHE COULDN'T BREAK IT, THAT'S EXCITING.

OOPS, SPOKE TOO SOON.

BOOM, BADASS!MERLIN GETS THINGS DONE.

AKLAKSLKD ARTHUR WANTS MERLIN'S OPINION, THAT IS ALL SORTS OF WONDERFUL.

WOW, HER HAIR IS STRAIGHT, WHAT A DRASTIC CHANGE. OR, YOU KNOW. NOT.

UH-OH, ARTHUR IS IN SO MUCH TROOOUBLE. OR NOT...WELL, THAT WAS ANTICLIMACTIC.

"ONLY TIME WILL TELL." YUP, TWO MORE SEASONS WORTH OF TIME.

NEXT WEEK ON MERLIN: GWEN HAS A BROTHER? AND HE'S HOT? HUZZAH!

PS. I WILL GET TO EVERYONE'S REVIEWS THIS ARVO, BUT RIGHT NOW I NEED TO GO BACK TO BED.