![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Conundrum
So a couple months ago I was at the pub when I ran into an old friend from high school. He was my best guy friend back then but I hadn't seen him since a few weeks before graduation. So we run into each other and I was so happy to see him. We exchanged numbers and I made him promise to call, because knowing him, he'd completely forget. To my surprise later that night, he messaged me. He asked me to come out with him then but I said I couldn't because I was already in bed. So he asks what I'm wearing. Charming, huh? I didn't care too much because that's just the way he was in high school, I figured he was exactly the same. We talked some more and then he tells me out of the blue that he wanted to lose his virginity to me in school.
...yeah.
I was convinced it was his brother playing a prank so I said as much and figured that'd be the end of it. Next second I get a phone call from him, to prove it was really him. I panic and quickly hang up the phone. He tries ringing me again a few times but I ignored the phone. About an hour later after I had recovered from the heart attack I messaged him and said that I didn't believe him but I would like to catch up for coffee sometime because I'd love to have his friendship again. He agreed and we left it at that.
Since then he's messaged me a few times asking how I am, but I keep ignoring his messages. I'm not entirely sure why, but I know I'm scared. Of something. I was angry at him too. I mean, is it just me, or do you not say what he said to someone you haven't seen for 4 years? It sounded like he expected me to come over to his place right then and fuck him. I mean, after I left the pub I was so excited to have seen him and was looking forward to the prospect of having him in my life again as a friend. And then he goes and ruins it by turning things sexual, which is exactly how he was in school, so I don't know why I was so surprised!
The point of this long winded entry is that...well, I've forgotten. But I was feeling lonely tonight and I very nearly messaged him. I don't know if I want him in my life. Do I want someone like him in my life? I still feel what he said was uncalled for but on the other hand, I know that's just who he is. Can I trust him not to bring up 'the thing of which I do not want to talk about'? Why am I so scared to talk about it?
-------------------------
I don't know if I mentioned it, but the new Arcade Fire album is WONDERFUL.
My friend Laura has asked me to be maid of honour at her wedding next year. I'm hesitant because I am not a maid of honour kind of girl. And I don't even think she loves the guy.
Finally, Heroes is teh best show evah!!1!!one! Next to The Office, naturally.
no subject
As for Heroes, I've watched the first few episodes then I lost interest. It must have gotten better then huh? And you know how much I like The Office!
And...this is the most personal information you've ever posted about yourself I do believe!!!
no subject
Yeah, yeah, Heroes got so much better, I cannot believe how addicted I am to it. Thank god for people uploading tv shows on the internet!
I know, I finally wrote something PERSONAL in my PERSONAL JOURNAL! Wonders may never cease :D
no subject