So, [ profile] carnivors and I were talking this afternoon about dark!Merlin and even though it's not normally something I seek out, I remember reading a really interesting fic ages ago that I wanted to rec to her, only I can't remember the title/author because I live in the dark ages and don't bookmark anything. Does anyone remember a fic in which dark!Merlin and Arthur are having sex and Merlin destroys the world at the end? And Uther may or may not get maimed/killed in the middle, but it's entirely possible I'm thinking of something else here?

I had a looksie in the non-con tag on mxa this arvo until I was unfairly yet understandably distracted by come-addict!Arthur fic, so if anyone could help me out, that would be super. You would get a gold star and everything.

Oh, okay, and Merlin this coming week? Aaaargh, excitement/reservation.

Today I am in love with this song: Can't Fish - Pete & the Pirates.

And Monte continues to be a treasure, I love his itty bitty face even if he doesn't let me sleep in of a morning.

Here he is trying to work out why yummy-looking berries no go in mouth.
ETA: That's some unfortunate USB cable placement there.
Thing One! Birdie finally has a name. It was a close and headache-inducing process but I finally decided on Monte. It's Monty, but pretentious.

Look at him judging your lack of wealth. What a snob.


Thing Three! Colin Morgan will be in my country in November.

Um. United Kingdom? Can we keep him? Pleeeease? We promise to take good care of him! We'll feed him and take him for walks EVERY DAY.

Thing Four! I don't think I'll go (although [ profile] amazonbard88 is threatening to badger me until I do) because it's not really my thing, but he will be an hour away from me. AN HOUR.

Thing Five! I don't have a thing five, but if I did, it would be amazing, trust me.

Thing Six! How are you? Are you well?
So. Is there anyone on my flist NOT doing the Big Bang?

/dregs-of-society brofist?

But I am really excited for those people attempting it. Write hard, you sexy things, write haaaard. How are you all feeling? Confident or are you dreading it yet?

If the word limit had been 20k and I had been feeling particularly insane, I might have given it a whirl, but for 30k, I know there's no point, it just wouldn't happen. STILL, I am doing my bit, cheerleading for the Divine Miss Jenn, [ profile] lemniciate, which has all been rather exciting - it's like having a backstage pass for your favourite band.

3.30am, I should probably head to bed. MAYBE. But it's so hotttt. Oh, that's right. Four t's. It's that bad.
Well, it's 11pm and that's me for the night. I've been down the Dog & Parrot with some mates but I'd had enough by 10. These days I'm quite content to watch the fireworks from the comfy confines of my living room, where there is significantly fewer drunken tools hanging about.

~Aspirations~ for next year

The usual suspects:

Lose weight, eat better, exercise more, etc etc.
Figure out what I want to do because I'm 25 and this shit is redinkydonkey.
Go to the doctor and DON'T IGNORE his advice like a twat.

The new ideas:

I want to collaborate with someone on something fannish! A tag team fic or another ficmix or something?
Learn a new skill. Any suggestions?

And that'll do.

20 minutes to go, Happy New Year, kids ♥
Random entry of randomness because I'm trying to keep myself awake for a few more hours.

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. )
Two memes because it's been a while since I've done one and I'm super bored. Where the fuck is everyone? HDU have lives :(

Meme the first:

Comment and I will:

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something. A fandom, a song, a color, a piece of fruit. SOMETHING.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask you a random question.
6. Tell you my favorite userpic of yours.

In return, you must post this in your LJ. Or don't. You know, whatever.

Meme the second aka Fandom Meme aka My Merlin Thoughts, let me show you them )
HOME FOR A NIGHT, I AM EXCITE (and rhyming).

My visit is only tempered by the fact that last weekend my computer blew up, but at least I have my shitty, old laptop.


Firstly, birthday wishes! A belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUCIOUS LADY to [ profile] plasticprincess and a very early HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU WONDERFUL WOMEN to [ profile] xxkezziexx and [ profile] amazonbard88! I hope everyone's day was/is fantabulous ♥

Next, [ profile] rayslady wrote me comment fic and what can I say? It is Bradley, it is Colin and it is them lazing in bed and discussing Brideshead Revisited, so it goes without saying that it's prettty much 100% win all around. GO LOOK NOW. My love for Julia borders on downright disgusting, I swear.

Oh! WHY OH WHY did the beeb stop releasing Bradley and Colin's quests on my Friday nights and instead put them on on Saturdays? I HAD A HAPPY, ORDERLY ROUTINE - a little of the boys on Friday night to lead into a lot of the boys on Saturday night, it was perfect. NOW I'M SUFFERING A HAPPY OVERDOSE EARLY ON SUNDAY MORNINGS WHEN I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE CHILLING IN BED, DOING THE WHOLE "SLEEPING" THING. MY LIFE, GUYS, MY LIFE. IT IS HORRIBLE.

Woke up at 2am from two hours of sleep and decided that I had to find an outfit for this weekend's wedding RIGHT THEN. Eventually found one and then thought, 'meh, what the heck' and decided to clean the kitchens and bathrooms from top to bottom.

It's now 6am and I'm feeling like a pretty accomplished motherfucking boss but it's also possible I'm just delirious from the spicy combination of cleaning product fumes and a lack of sleep.

I think I'll make a meringue next, that seems to be the next logical step.


(Advice Merlin)
Housesitting officially starts today, eight weeks baby! Though I'll be fairly evenly spread between my aunt's house and my own by the sound of it, like next week when I'm home for the entire working week, but just a heads up anyway. The house has a computer and all but I'll most likely only be using my iPod, so you'll either not hear very much from me in the way of comments because typing on the iPod is fucking hard labour, or you'll be hearing a little too much from me because there is shit-all to do. Apologies in advance for both instances.

ONE YEAR SMOKE FREE! I'd been smoking since 2000 and never actually thought I could quit successfully, at the most I think I was just hoping to cut down, but pfft, it was so much easier than I'd ever imagined. I should go create a tumblr called fuck yeah me, because seriously. FUCK YEAH ME!

Ever since I posted that Men In Tights gif the other day, I've been mentally casting Merlin characters into that film, mostly, if I'm honest, because I want to see Leon as Little John (Don't let my name fool you. In real life, I'm veeeery big). And if we were going for the slash version, which, come on, it's ME, of course we are; Arthur would have to be Robin Hood because he's blonde and dashing (and unlike some other Robin Hoods, he can speak with an English accent); which means Merlin would be Maid Marian (I must warn you - it could only be a kiss. For I am a virgin and could never...go all the way. Unless I were married. Or if a man pledged his endless love to me. Or if I knew that he desperately cared for me. Or if he were really cute!) and Gaius would be his maidservant, Broomhilde, who's always cockblocking Marian!Merlin (NO DING DING WITHOUT A WEDDING RING). Lancelot would of course be Will Scarlet because of the HAIR and Gawain would be Achoo because I suspect he's snarky and I never really got around to casting the girls but I suppose Morgana could be the witch, Latrine (Raven's egg, blood of a hen! A little more blood, yes! Eyeballs of a crocodile, testicles of a newt...I guess he's a transsexual now.) which OH OH OH means Alvarr could be the Sheriff of Rottingham because Latrine!Morgana totes has a thing for him and he already has the beard going on. So Gwen could be...Blinkin? IDK IDK, holes, but ahhh. The things that amuse my mind.

A very, very early happy birthday to [ profile] paenteom because I won't be here on the actual day. I hope you have a fabulous time, sweetheart!

And, er, that's it I think. Stay safe kiddies! TWOISH MORE WEEKS UNTIL NEW MERLIN, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I'm so bloody bored. This took weeks, yo.

Alphabet meme )
[Bad username or site: kylezy story @]

Keep in mind these are my opinions and I offer them only as my opinions.

*DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE IS NOT A WEIRD, OBSCURE INDIE BAND, yet in fic,Bradley is constantly perplexed by them and Colin's musical taste. Some indie bands are weird, yes, but DCFC is not one of them. Furthermore, if you want to reference an obscure indie band, there are other ones beside Animal Collective.

*Eyesex is not what happens when two people just look at each other. Fandom sometimes forgets this.

Exhibit A - Not Eyesex. Notice how there is nothing remotely sexual about their gazes.

Exhibit B - Notice how they look like they want to tear each other apart with just their teeth. This is eyesex.

*Aesthetically, neither actor is spectacularly good-looking. WHAT? Yeah, I said it, I WENT THERE. They're pretty average when you first look at them. Familiarity breeds acceptance of the flaws though and their personalities have made them exponentially more attractive. Right now, there's no way you could tell me Colin isn't a sex god but that doesn't mean he's...male model material.

*All the popular authors hated Bradley's beard, thus we only ever read about Colin hating Bradley's beard. This made me sad.

*On the topic of Bradley's beard, I was pretty embarrassed by the carry on during BeardGate2009. There's having an opinion and then there's being an asshole about it.

*I'm not quite convinced Colin is as shy as fandom makes him out to be. I think he talks less in interviews because he has a hard time getting a word in over BJ (and I say that with the greatest affection for Bradley). He's an actor, how shy can an actor really be? He's appeared nude on stage. Nude. In the video diaries, he often commands attention. I'm not saying he's a camera whore, but he does draw attention to himself. Shy people tend to, you know shy away. Reserved and private does not equal incapable of human interaction.

*Words/sentences/tropes writers overuse in Merlin fiction:

  • Licking into his mouth. Yes, the image is sexy but I'm not exaggerating when I say I've read this motion in 90% of fanfiction. Is there not another way to say it, at the very least? EDIT: The tally begins here. Let us count how many people use the phrase in a year.

  • Filthy. This is a very popular word to describe the way the boys kiss.

  • Angel as a nice, sweet and innocent girl. Judging by the video diaries and BTS, she says what she feels and has no problems bantering, especially with Bradley ("I see what you mean about me being a bit better at this than you", "You just can't help but be involved, can you" and I can't be sure if it's actually her or not but something along the lines of "they're not just talking to you, Bradley)".

  • Bradley being the one with the gay issue. It really should be Colin, if anybody, he's the one from the Catholic background.

Day 20 → a hobby of yours

Cooking, I adore cooking. My aunt always used to cook with me when I was a kid and it was fun but after she moved out, no one really continued my culinary education. My Nan generally cooked all the meals and she's always found it a chore more than anything else (as you would, I suppose, cooking every meal, every day since you'd been married), and she has no patience and would have found me a bother in the kitchen anyhow. So, about four years ago (which blows my mind, I would have said two at the most), I suddenly decided I wanted to start cooking. I can't remember exactly what brought this on, I think it had to do with looking at Nan's recipe book and thinking how much I wanted my own to 'pass to the next generation'. Not that I want kids, but, you know what I mean, something for someone to have that was mine.

So I started, following each recipe EXACTLY, and it was fun and I felt creative and things worked. I think if I'd made failure after failure I would have given it up pretty quickly, but everything worked and I made some really yummy stuff. Four years on and it's definitely a serious hobby now, I buy cooking magazines every week, check out cooking books every week from the library and my own recipe book has turned into a recipe folder. I am confident enough to not have to measure each teaspoon and tablespoon, confident enough to alter the instructions or ingredients in a recipe and confident enough to create my own meal from scratch.

This ties in super well with the topic of tomorrow.

In other news, why the hell am I wide awake at this hour? I got up before the sun, that is UNHEARD OF.
Storms a brewin'. Yup. *Spits tobacco*

I should have just combined this with the other post I just made, but oh well. I finally caved in and I'm giving the 30-day meme a go. Yipee.

Day 01 → your favorite song

A cruel, nasty question. How am I supposed to pick just one? I don't think I can. Some days I like some songs more than others, just based on what mood I'm in.

My 8 part answer: is under the cut )
It's not even the end of January and already we've had so many albums out that I've been excited for; Eels, Owen Pallett, Vampire Weekend, Massive Attack, Spoon, Adam Green, Magnetic Fields and Seabear. The rest of the year has a lot to live up to, I'm just saying. What else is coming over the next 11 months?

There are not enough Arthur/Merlin, Bradley/Colin boarding school fics out there. This makes me sad. What are they, if not a nicer version of Draco and Harry?

Does anybody know what dreaming of dinosaurs means?

Australia is doing really well in this cricket series against Pakistan. I won't say any more though, I don't want to jinx anything (because clearly I am THAT GUY, the one who doesn't breathe if that's what it takes to keep the luck running our way).

I have decided to save up for an iPod touch. My nano is on its death bed, I doubt it has got another year in it and 8GB is not enough, despite reassuring myself it was plenty when I first got it two years ago. I think I'm going for the 32GB, purely because it's cheaper and I don't have the patience to save up even more money for the 64GB.

Speaking of Apple products, what the fuck is the tablet and why does every Mac user have an orgasm any time it's mentioned?

Catering for Nadeen again this weekend, making an ice cream cake for the kids and maybe something sweet for the adults. The pavlova and cake I made for her the other week went down well apparently, except that the guy the pav was for didn't like it. Which is disappointing in one way, but according to Nadeen, everybody else thought it was heaven.

I really, really hate this time of year. It was crappy for me this time last year too. I suspect sorcery.

Is it bed time again yet?
Photo meme requests, part the second )
Happy New Year team! I'm at home, being my usual anti-social self. Well, I went out earlier, but I've never really been the celebrating type. I could see the fireworks go off (on the coastline) from here at home though, so that was kind of nice to watch. So, do you guys do resolutions? I generally don't, although I did say I'd quit smoking last year and I (eventually) did do that (4 months smoke free baby!). And I swore I'd lose weight. I didn't, although I was doing really well in the first four months. This year (well, technically last) I've eaten a whole lot better too, so I guess my goal for this year is to not give up on exercise and continue to eat healthier. I will never not use real butter in my cooking though! NEVAH!
Photo meme requests )



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