I made the mistake of rereading this fic by suntipped when I woke up at a ridiculous hour early this morning.

/crawls into a corner with a blanket and a box of tissues, never to emerge again


HI. I have nothing to talk about but I felt like I was due a post.


Do you like...stuff?

You know, I still pull that out during lapses in conversation. Ah, Simpsons quotes. Always applicable in life.

What's been happening, how are THINGS? Are we happy, are we sad? Are we glad, are we mad? Are we SUPER DEPRESSED BECAUSE THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME WE SEE BRADLEY AND COLIN LOOK AT EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN?


I'm not ready to say goodbye ;____;

Music I'm digging )

This post accomplished nothing.
You guys. This fic.

Them Gods Gonna Hurt You, Son by skellerbvvt
NC-17, ~137k, Merlin/Arthur (main)

For the longest time Arthur and Merlin couldn’t even find an example of another same-dynamic soulbond, much less any particular reason why it happened. So they resolved themselves to learning how to live with it, and learning how to keep that big of a secret. (BDSM AU)

I have never quite lost myself so deeply or emotionally in an AU like I have with this one.

I want to study this fic. I want to take lectures in Arthur-feelings. I want textbooks expanding on the academia and psychology mentioned throughout. I want to sit in a tiny bookshop and listen to the author field questions about minor characters' backgrounds. I want people on the Internet to condescendingly explain all the things I wasn't smart enough to understand.

I want.

I want another 130k.

Despite being set in a foreign universe where sexuality is not the same as it is here, the injustices all have a ring of familiarity. Scattered throughout the story are cleverly written excerpts from their pop culture, mythologies, religious and academic texts that serve to illustrate just how different our universes really aren't. Society there pounds the same rubbish into their heads as it does into ours - that there is a 'right' way to be and a 'wrong' way. It'll break your heart a bit, both for the characters and in recognising their struggles in yourself or others around you.

The characterisations are superb and nuanced. Merlin is quirky and loveable and LOVING and in tune with everything. And this is the most interesting Arthur I think I've ever read. Oh god, he's going to leave you shattered. He's beautiful and angry and broken and startlingly, heartbreakingly relatable.

All in all, it's just a really fascinating, rich journey. Have patience with it - don't go looking for plot. Here, the story is in the world.

Here, the story IS the people.
You know what?


I miss them.
Just finished Parked.

Having Colin Morgan feels.

Just gonna die over here quietly, don't mind me.

**Spoilers in comments**
Ah, the old 'favourite albums of 2011' post.

Do they know those days are golden? )
So, [livejournal.com profile] carnivors and I were talking this afternoon about dark!Merlin and even though it's not normally something I seek out, I remember reading a really interesting fic ages ago that I wanted to rec to her, only I can't remember the title/author because I live in the dark ages and don't bookmark anything. Does anyone remember a fic in which dark!Merlin and Arthur are having sex and Merlin destroys the world at the end? And Uther may or may not get maimed/killed in the middle, but it's entirely possible I'm thinking of something else here?

I had a looksie in the non-con tag on mxa this arvo until I was unfairly yet understandably distracted by come-addict!Arthur fic, so if anyone could help me out, that would be super. You would get a gold star and everything.

Oh, okay, and Merlin this coming week? Aaaargh, excitement/reservation.

Today I am in love with this song: Can't Fish - Pete & the Pirates.

And Monte continues to be a treasure, I love his itty bitty face even if he doesn't let me sleep in of a morning.

Here he is trying to work out why yummy-looking berries no go in mouth.
ETA: That's some unfortunate USB cable placement there.

*Home for the night, hello full-sized keyboard. If I type lively instead of lovely on my ipod one more time, I might scream.

I've actually only got a week and three days left of housesitting, I am somewhere between bummed and elated.

Tomorrow is a day of cleaning and disinfecting the house; my grandad had chemo today and he's having a blood transfusion tomorrow, and I know the chemo at least makes him very susceptible to germs.

*About to watch the final ep of Game of Thrones, finally, insert sobbing noises here. I have to say, I really enjoyed the series, having gone into it knowing absolutely nothing. I could do without the constant gratuitous violence, I'm forever watching the show through my fingers like a wuss, but then, this is HBO, I wasn't really expecting subtlety.

In related news, I would allcaps L-O-V-E to see Colin or Bradley in a guest role on that show *___*

*Lately, I've had to restrain myself from asking Bradley, via twitter, what Hogwarts house he thinks he'd be sorted into, because I don't want to give my friends second hand embarrassment. IT IS A FIERCE INTERNAL STRUGGLE THOUGH. I really want to know if he thinks he's a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff.

The things I waste my time thinking about, I swear to fucking god.

*Oh, so Pottermore? Still not entirely sure what it is but I am excited about new canon information from JKR. Are any of you going to sign up for the beta testing of the site?

The only thing that's made me a bit sad about this whole thing is that I guess this negates the need for the long-rumoured encyclopaedia? I was looking forward to holding more Potter in my hand.

Also, FINAL POTTER FILM IN ABOUT A FORTNIGHT. I just looked back and one year ago today I was posting the trailer for the first part, ~OH MEMORIES~

*So many of you are feeling bummed lately, big hugs to you all.
I have feelings today. Feelings everywhere. And not the good, dirty kind of feelings, either.

So an Arthur/Merlin boys in love gifspam is in order. Sorry people with dialup. Sidenote: does dialup even exist anymore? Also, is that a firstworld dumbfuck question?


click for boys [in love with boys] )
I don't know what the flip is wrong with me lately, but I've been crying at pretty much the slightest emotion all week. But the happy ones only. I've been in an emo mood for the last couple of days, but the moment anything happy occurs, I'm all SOB SOB GREATEST THING EVER.

I was re-reading In Want Of A Wife by [livejournal.com profile] syllic earlier and it hit me all of a sudden how utterly, utterly meant for each other Merlin and Arthur are. Not just in that story, but in everything; in fic, in the show, in my head. Regardless of circumstance or merit, they're intertwined in such a way that makes it impossible for one to live without the other. That makes true happiness unattainable in anyone else's arms but each other's.

And it's not that this thought has never occured to me before, but the weight of it sort of pulled me under until I was wrecked with the gravity of it all, the enormity of such love.

And then I just felt really stupid because they're fictional characters, but whoever said hormones were supposed to make you rational?

So anyway, that set me off all afternoon, like a[n] [in-dire-need-of-a-mood-stabiliser] boss. Couple that with unnecessary repeats of my dead!Arthur fanmix and this fanvid of Bradley and Colin that [livejournal.com profile] rebbeile found, and today has just been flipping marvelous.

In other failings, somewhere in between being a perve and rejoicing that other people are just as pervy as I am, I forgot to thank [livejournal.com profile] lemniciate for coming up with a couple of the questions in the HARDEST POLL EVERRR (if you haven't voted, what, what, WHAT is wrong with you, you righteous bastards), after incessant nagging from me earlier that morning. SO THANK YOU, YOU MORALLY DUBIOUS WENCH.



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